Home / War Room / Who’s in this week’s – “Thrift Store Bargains”

Who’s in this week’s – “Thrift Store Bargains”

Dynasty Thrift StoreThis article is for the teams that sit on the top half your dynasty league. The teams that are one piece away from making a run at a championship this year. The teams that want to defend their crown from last year. A real playoff contender. If you meet this criteria, keep reading. If you’re a bottom of the barrel, rebuilding loser, then quit reading, go home, study the draft and don’t forget to check out my article on dynasty rebuilding next week.                                                                                                                                                    

More than one ex-girlfriend has told me that I am cheap. Let me defend myself by saying the reason I took them to eat at TGI Fridays for happy hour – with a coupon – and not Morton’s The Steakhouse is not because I’m cheap, it’s because the music at Fridays is loud, and I can’t hear them babble on when they open their fat pie hole! Well… am I cheap? Debatable. Do I love to relish a bargain? Yes!                                                                                                                       

In dynasty the bargain isn’t a half-price appetizer. It could be an old wily veteran, a underachieving youngster, an injury-prone star, a potential breakout player, or just a player you swindle from a clueless owner. You need to find the player that fits your team needs and target the rebuilding teams who own them. The teams at the top half of your league are going to be less likely to give you quality players at a bargain price to their competition. To really be a bargain shopper you want to trade for players that will help your team win and buy them below market value. Haggling and bargain shopping is an art form and it takes time to master. Remember, only suckers pay retail!

Before you start bargain hunting, here are some helpful tips when you talk trades:                          

  • Talk up how good this year’s draft class is! Say things like “draft picks this year are like gold”             
  • Talk trades one-on-one. If you talk trades at a live draft you are going to get some ass clown throwing in his two cents and probably kill your trade.                                                           
  • Talk trades over a few drinks. People get trade happy when they drink and make poor decisions. I have made many poor decisions while drinking. Usually they include tequila and fat chicks.                                                                                    
  • When you get the better end of the deal never brag! Ever!                                                                                   
  • Don’t be the used car salesman of the league. Nobody will want to deal with you.            
  • Use my cheap dude sales lines below! Make up your own. Do anything to get that deal!                               
  • Stick to your budget. Don’t go over! Below I gave a list of players that I think could help most top tier teams, and can be had for cheap. The players have a price to the right of them. At that price or below they are a bargain or “thrifty buy”!




Cheap dude sales pitch 

Why you should buy 

Bargain basement price


Peyton Manning, QB Den

Manning is old as dirt!      Your team is young and rebuilding. He will have no value next year when he retires.

Do you have a better QB? No you don’t. He will have at least one more monster fantasy year.  Unless you have Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers this is a must buy.

Mid second-round draft pick or lower.   


Ray Rice, RB Bal

 Rice is coming of a terrible year, and is going around punching women in the face! He’s washed up. I heard he will get suspended the entire year.

Rice may not be a gentleman or a spring chicken, but he will bounce back and have great fantasy year.  

Second- and third-round draft pick or lower.


David Wilson, RB NYG

Neck surgery? I think I am over paying for this one. I’m taking all the risk on this one.  He is always fumbling.

Wilson is only 22 years old, with breakaway speed. His stock will never be this low. He will have the breakout season we have been waiting on.

Early second-round pick or lower.


Justin Blackmon, WR Jax

Blackmon is the biggest knucklehead in the league! Blackmon is going to mess up again. 

Blackmon is a straight-up beast on the field! He will have his act together this year and you will be getting a top-tier WR for pennies on the dollar. 

Late second- and third- round draft pick or lower 


Andre Johnson, WR Hou

Johnson’s numbers are going to go down with a rookie QB.  Deandre  Hopkins is going to get all the targets. He’s lost a step or two 

Johnson puts up numbers every year and wont stop this season. Will be an every week starter no matter how good your team is. 

Second-round pick this year and next or lower.


Rob Gronkowski,     TE NE

Gronkowski  is “ALWAYS” hurt.  He’s had like 20 surgeries?  Dude likes to party too much and wears those stupid vests and takes his shirt off at parties! You can draft a better tight end this year. He is looking flabby without his shirt on.

Gronkowski is a fantasy monster that I have been man crushing on for years.  If you have a dynasty owner who is down on Gronkowski go trade for him now! He will give you a huge week-to-week advantage and shouldn’t cost a kings ransom like Jimmy Graham.

Late first- and second- round pick or lower.


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About Juan Hernandez